70th Birthday – TAHS

The performers are:
N = Norman (Chico) Roth
P = Pat Cunningham
J = John Spear

N: Happy Birthday classmates, it’s the Big 7-0,
Well what do you know, where did the time go?

P: Hey, Whaddaya talkin’, Whaddaya mean?
As I survey this incredible scene,
Everyone I see is still 17

J: (SONG) To Allderdice, a song of joy we raise
Have a banana (sung to the “trumpet part”)

N: A song of joy, indeed!
Let us count the joys!!

P: At Allderdice we had a World Class Social Studies
Department that was the envy of every high school in the country featuring…

J: Boom Boom Beck

N: Sam Blitz

J: Annie Kasnitz

P: And Dr. Quatrocchi, “Don’t forget to turn your papers from the bottom up.”

N: And there were other joys:

J: Playing sports on a field that was hard as a rock & coated with thick, black oil.
What were they thinking?

P: Hygiene classes for the girls, taught by a woman teacher,
who never discussed the menstrual cycle.
What were they thinking?

N: In the cafeteria, shriveled hot dogs, soggy veggies
and oh those mashed potatoes.
What were they thinking?

J: (SONG)
Her tri-fold creed, in word and deed we praise
Have a banana

N: Know something – Yes, at age 70 we all know something thanks to our exemplary teaching staff

P: Senorita Goldstein

J: Mr. Wiegand & his paddle

N: Boom Boom Beck & his ruler

P: Mr. Voyvodich throwing his baton at someone

J: Miss Skarinsky throwing a typewriter at someone

N: Mr. Hyman spitting tobacco

P: Miss Ziegler fidgeting with her glasses

J: Puss Irwin shooting foul shots underhand.

N: And the world’s best swimming coach with my favorite nickname: Claude “Balls” Sofield

J: (SONG)
She stands on high to guide us thru our days
Have a banana

N: Yes Allderdice does stand on high. And they had a 20 million dollar renovation and it was worth every penny. Because now the front of the building looks like shit.

P: And you can hardly see out beloved flagpole

J: (SONG – to “People”)
Flag pole
Meet you after school at the Flagpole
With that phallic Flagpole, we were the luckiest people
In the world

N: But even 20 million dollars couldn’t fuck up our most treasured Allderdice landmark.

J: (SONG – to “Oh You Beautiful Doll”)
Oh, you beautiful Wall
Let’s meet during lunch at The Wall
We’d hang out & have a coke there
We would often sneak a smoke there

N: Buck Buck, how many fingers up?

J: One

N: You lose, Two

P: Oooo, that hurts

N: Know something, Be something, Do something.
No one embodied that motto better than Maye & Faye Rattner. They may have passed away, but their economic policies will live forever. You all know what I’m talking about:
the famous Fannie Maye Rattner and the Freddie Faye Rattner.

J: Not all of us succeeded like Faye & Maye Rattner,
Most of us spent too much time walking “up street” after school to Isalys.

N: Or participating in extra-curricular activities,
Clubs that would really really help you
Be something like The Slide Rule Club

J: Or the Ping Pong Club

N: Or my favorite, the The Ham Radio Club

P: And just think about how your future lives were enhanced by being on – The Fourth Period Hall Patrol

J: Or The Gift Committee

P: Or my favorite, a student council alternate

J: (SONG)
Our loyalty, we pledge to her always

P: Yes Allderdice, we are here tonight because we are loyal & we are loyal because of all the priceless memories – like all the special “days” – like, for example,
Turkey Treat Day

J: First “day” of school, the day after Labor Day,
the day God intended school to start.

N: Class Day and my favorite Kennywood Picnic Day
where I envied the tough kids whose girlfriends walked close to them with their hand on their boyfriend’s ass.

P: Then there was Cutting Class Day to go to
The Hot Puppy Shop

J: Here’s to Good times, Good friends and Great memories

N: Here’s to all the kids who dropped their tray in the cafeteria (Let me hear it – oooo)

P: Here’s to Mr. McClymonds who before each

A Capella Choir or Orchestra or Class Play
Performance in the auditorium would say,
“This not cel-lu-loid”

J: Here’s to being thrilled when you were mentioned in The Keyhole

N: Here’s to the day you finished your Senior Theme

P: Here’s to Rosie Hartz with her famous red pencil
teaching us that “neat margins lead to a neat life”

J: Here’s to our classmates who sold lunch tickets

N: Here’s to Mr. Thomas stopping one of us & asking,
“Where’s your hall pass?”

P: Here’s to the real Taylor Allderdice High School, the one that has 3 sets of steps leading to the front door.

J: Here are some more memories sent in by classmates:

N: Marshall Wnuk remembers Mr. Hackett, the biology teacher with his hunched over posture. It seemed he was looking for a dime he dropped on the floor. One of his favorite sayings was, “You don’t need to be a Phi Beta Kappa to know the answer to this question.”

P: Marshall also remembers the girls’ gym outfits. He says, and I agree, “Hard to believe.”

J: But that didn’t stop him from noticing & I quote
Marshall, the abundance of pretty and smart girls at Allderdice. And he remembers taking some of them to Dinty Moore’s on Freeport Road where you got to keep the menu which had on the front,
“My dreamboat for tonight is: Rita Weinstein, Linda Linton, or you fill in the blank”

N: Irene Kaufman remembers the girls wore the shapeless grey cotton, one size fits all bathing suits with a string around the neck to hold it up.

P: Esther Latterman wrote in that Mr. Ralston loved to play with the window shade cord in his room, and also play with his tie. One day he got his tie and the cord knotted together somehow and the shade went up and he almost hanged himself.

J: Jack Moss remembers sitting in class learning how to diagram sentences from Mr. Wiegand, and then later seeing him drinking at his Dad’s bar, The Elbow Room on Ellsworth Avenue.

N: Dave Mason will never forget the stoic patience of Mr. Hackett for the pranks of the “wise birds” as he Referred to the perpetrators. He never showed any frustration or other emotion. He would simply say,
“I ain’t gonna penalize you, but I ain’t gonna help you.”
In retrospect, the man was a saint.

P: Dave Mason also has fond memories of teaming up with Dick Feldstein to win the city high school tennis doubles championship.

J: Thank you God, for the good times, the good friends, the great memories

P: Thank you God, for a great school, Inspiring & Committed teachers and stimulating activities & sports.

N: Most of all, we thank you God tonight, for the name tags.

P: In Closing, Chico, John & I were trying to figure out why we all feel such a close bond to each other.

N: We think it comes down to a 2 word question that John will now ask you, & you all will answer as loud as you can. John!

J: Who can?

All: A-mer-i-can

N: Once again, let’s hear it for Jim Reich and the entire reunion committee.
On my far left…John Spear,
in the middle…Pat Cunningham,
and me…Norman (Chico) Roth.
Happy Birthday classmates, it’s the Big 7-0, now where do we go?
It’s on with the show.
Be Healthy

J: Be Happy

P: See yunz at the next reunion!